The Year of 100 Rejections

We all like being told “yes.” 

Yes, you can have the last biscuit. 

Yes, you got the job. 

Yes, we would like to publish your writing. 

Yes, yes, YES! 

Yes is a magic word, yes is a mood booster, happy smiles, good feelings inducer. Yes is a drug. And just like a drug not getting your “yes” fix can have the power to crush you. If “yes” is a magic word then “no” is a powerful word or at least, that’s the way it feels. 

In the past, I have allowed the No’s of the world to rule my mood and, worse, dictate my sense of self worth. I have given all my power to No without even realising it and then wonder why I feel so down on myself. So what’s the solution? Never put yourself in a position to hear No or anything negative? 

When being creative we put ourselves in an unbelievably vulnerable position, we express ourselves in the most exposing way possible and then, if we’re very brave, we share it with others. Sometimes – lots of times – the response is positive. People give us encouraging feedback, praise and sometimes even a yes to publication. And that feels good. Maaaaan oh man that feels so good. But as good as that Yes feels the No feels like the worst kind of bad break up. 

Having your creative work rejected can feel like a very real rejection of yourself, like you personally are no good and it can make you feel like you don’t want to try anymore. No can have so much power its like a bad fairy curse. 

And unfortunately, statistically, I am going to hear a lot more Nos than Yes’s. 

JK Rowling was turned down by 12 different publishers before she got her Yes. Stephan King was rejected by more than 30 publishers before finding global success. Agatha Christie, the world’s best selling author to date, never saw her first novel published and her second was rejected multiple times until she agreed to change the ending.

We are all of us, no matter how good we are, going to hear No.  A lot. 

So, I figure, rather than letting the word No have all this negative power over me,  I am going to get good at hearing No, I am going to revel in rejection and become the best at failure. 

2024 is going to be my year of 100 rejections. 

Some of you may already be familiar with Rejection Therapy and the 100 days of rejection challenge as a form of healing. You can read more about it here. 

My rejection challenge is purely writing related, I will be submitting my work to as many different places as possible with the aim of getting 100 Nos by the end of the year. This isn’t because I’m a glutton for punishment, rather it’s a way of taking the pressure off of the outcome.

I do not want my good feeling to be reliant on getting a yes. My goal is to make my good feeling creation focused, on writing, making and sharing.  If I do happen to get a Yes  then that’s cool too but Yes is no longer the same thing as a successful outcome. Simply putting my work out there will become the Yes and an exercise in success. 

Slyvia Plath said “I love my rejection letters, they show me I try.”  

Stephan King famously had a nail in his wall for all his rejection slips “By the time I was fourteen the nail in my wall would no longer support the weight of the rejection slips impaled upon it.” King’s response to this was  – GET A BIGGER NAIL! 

I love this, it takes your power back from no and frees you from the fear of failure precisely because you no longer see No as a failure but proof of your success at TRYING. And that’s all any of us can do, right? 

So I am excited for my first rejection of 2024. I am ready for it, like a game of cosmic tennis, as soon as I get a No I’m going to ping it right back with another submission to someone else, someplace else. I’m going to keep on going because that’s the bit that feels good, that’s where my joy as a writer lives. “No” doesn’t dictate my self worth or confidence. No is a call to arms, a space to fill with something new, no is a challenge and a game and an opportunity and no longer has any power over me.